In the beginning…

by mposadasn

Unfurling, unwinding, detoxing, but mostly, beginning. 
After months and months of just falling: falling on the ground, falling into God’s arms, falling completely in love with Him… Finding such a sweetness, such a warmth, such a home in the unfailing love of Jesus within my consistently failing heart. Now, in transition, I see His hands begin to mold my own heart into a home. A place to recover the memories of love from my past, to rekindle broken relationships, extend and learn to receive hospitality of others, and in surrender, continue to be healed of the way I see His temple: His body. 
I wish there was an adjective worthy enough to describe the power, the beauty, the way my knees buckled when He gifted me a gelatto with three giant scoops on a cone and all I could do was cry as I finished the whole thing. Cry in joy in the unspeakable blessing of being able to stand in another part of His creation, to be able to digest, to taste….. To enjoy. 
I struggled with guilt. Because this trip seemed like one giant splurge that I couldn’t afford, even though He called and affirmed it for months and months. Even after He provided for it all financially. But today, the way I had to turn a page after the first sentence to Romans 8, made today feel like a sweet turn of a page. The wind that circled only where we were standing, the rain that only trickled where we walked… I think this is the beginning of walking alive. And enjoying it.