by mposadasn

“And when I cannot stand, I’ll fall on You. Jesus, You’re my hope and stay…”

I am just sitting at Starbucks with my books and notes sprawled open in front of me, aching to be reviewed after weeks of abandonment, but instead I am alternating between sipping my coffee and smoothie and singing increasingly louder. The chair opposite my table is tilted at an angle, and I know that God is sitting there, absolutely delighted in my voice. His body tilting slightly back in his chair, eyes closed, his right hand delicately caressing his left in rhythm to my tune. During the 30 minutes that I have spent here, the noise in the room has increased but the silence that has settled around my small table, with its historical anecdotes and scientific data sprawled across, silence has fallen between the melodies that escape my lips. And God is enthralled with my beauty. And I want to share with you, Beautiful, how He is also enthralled in yours.

There’s often not enough of an understanding that even though chaos, disaster, fear, and their family of negativity exists: hope, love, peace, and their own kin also remain. When the corruption of identity begins to consume the individual, there comes upon the mind and the eyes, a blindness to see for ourselves what is truly reflected upon the mirror- for the mirror becomes to us an affirmation of the tainted identity feedback we receive from the world around us.  Today, I want to encourage you to realize the destruction within your life for only two seconds, but take the rest of the day to recognize the deep and ardent love that rests within you. I assure you it’s there. You are absolutely delightful, and I say that with all boldness and truth because even if I haven’t met you or I don’t know you well enough, I know that wherever there is a deep hatred for something, there’s a deeper longing for love. And the depths of the former longing are as deep as it has seemingly been buried within you. Your design is one of love, and the design of the world is to naturally extinguish that truth. You are beautiful, you are love.

It’s often that I have not been able to find words to ask my Creator to show me my true beauty. Mostly, out of fear of having to receive the crippling realization that none of the descriptions of my inner and outer attributes that have hung around me so tightly are actually false. Kind of makes me think of spending a whole lifetime in a jail cell, until someone busts the door open and says, “You have been wrongly placed in jail, I’m getting you out. Follow me.” My eyebrow would probably be raised to the roof and though the promise of freedom would be terribly enticing, the fears stringing out from taking that step out of bondage would definitely be enough to rationalize my way out of accepting it. If that’s the case, then let’s look at the anatomy of who we are.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified” – Romans 8:28-30

God works for the good of those who love him. And so if you just take a moment and agree with me that within the depths of you, there lies an essence that is only and can only be identifiable as yours, and that the fragrance of that essence is pure and irrefutable love. And that God is love. Then, you, even in the depths of turmoil and chaos, even in the presence of adversity, love God. And since you’re called “according to his purpose”, and his purpose is to love: he not only loves you, but has placed a specific and roaring purpose within you. That kind of belief in an individual is only born out of a true knowledge of their capabilities. God knows how capable you are, he knows the loving depths of your spirit, and he knows how absolutely beautiful and delightful you are. And he knows that there is chaos, destruction, adversity, horror, and crippling fear surrounding us: whether it’s circumstantial or life-long, internal or external. So as a Father, He covers us with his protection: “those he called, he also justified…”

He doesn’t stop at the door of the jail cell. He says your name. And with your permission, he then stands in front of you to protect you, knowing that the chaos and adversity still remains; he stands for you, he stands for who you really are even when all else has consumed the adjectives that have lingered in definition around you and offered scoffing, rejection, and abandonment in return. And God doesn’t stop there. He glorifies you: he sings of the beauty that you are as he washes all that muck that had been dressing you. He melts at your glorious sight. He says, “this, this is my princess, my daughter…” or “this, this is my prince, my son”! And I didn’t even have to ask him. All I had to do was give him permission to take my hand, and fall into his arms with all that I thought I was, all that I held within me and around me….

How beautiful you are, how very beautiful! You are glorious. You are delightful. He is enthralled.

With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his intention toward me was love.” – Song of Solomon 2:3-4